


Some Things Are Made To Be Broken

by Lamia of the Dark (VisceraNight)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Casual Sex, Cheating, F/M, Humor, Implied/Referenced Sex, M/M, Not Particularly Romantic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-27
Updated: 2014-12-27
Packaged: 2018-03-03 20:07:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2885924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VisceraNight/pseuds/Lamia%20of%20the%20Dark
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>While their wives are out shopping, Lucius and Rodolphus engage in some questionable activities.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Some Things Are Made To Be Broken

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for a challenge where it had to be over 500 words written in under one hour.

~ Some Things Are Made To Be Broken ~

"Are you  _sure_  you don't want to come shopping with us?" Narcissa Malfoy asked her husband.

Before Lucius had a chance to answer, Narcissa's sister Bellatrix - who had been standing beside her, waiting impatiently - snapped, "For Merlin's sake, Cissy, you already asked him twelve times! I damn well think he's sure. Let's go."

"But he normally loves shopping," Narcissa protested weakly as Bellatrix grabbed her by the arm and forcefully disapparated her.

"So, they've left now," Rodolphus Lestrange commented with an air of disinterest. Even though his wife had dragged him along to her sister's house, she had not bothered to ask him if he wanted to come along on the ladies' shopping excursion.

"Yes, finally," Lucius answered. "I thought they'd never leave."

"Do you really  _normally love shopping_?" Rodolphus inquired, mimicking Narcissa's bewildered tone.

"I quite enjoy it, yes," Lucius answered, his voice full of ice. "Your wife's company on the other hand, I generally prefer to avoid."

"Ah, yes, she is a bit..." Rodolphus trailed off, as he had trouble thinking of an adjective that correctly described his wife while also not being horribly insulting. Unfortunately, he could not seem to find one in his vocabulary that met both criteria.

"Sadistic?" Lucius supplied when it seemed that the other man was not going to finish own sentence.

"Yeah, that," Rodolphus agreed. "So, aside from discussing how not fun it is to be around my wife, what are we going to do until they get back?"

"They will likely be gone for hours."

Rodolphus arched an eyebrow at him. "That doesn't answer my question."

"Oh, yes," Lucius drawled. "Whatever shall we do with ourselves until our wives return?"

The way he said it was so casually mocking that Rodolphus wanted to hit him, and was almost tempted to do that very thing. Instead, he said in what he hoped was a seductive tone, "I can think of a few things, actually."

Lucius waited a while before replying, giving his brother-in-law time to squirm uncomfortably while he waited to see if Lucius would take him up on his rather ham-handed attempt at a proposition. Once he judged it had been long enough, he put forth, "And would any of things you're thinking of have something to do with that mahogany table in the fourth-floor hallway?"

He watched as his brother-in-law breathed a sigh of relief.

"What table are you talking about?" Rodolphus asked, nonplussed.

"Come with me, I'll show you..."

When Bellatrix and Narcissa returned several hours later, apparently having bought at nothing all during their shopping trip, they found their husbands sitting in the parlor with untouched glasses of Firewhisky set out before them, both looking awkwardly guilty.

Before either of the women had a chance to ask, Lucius stood up from his chair and blurted out, "Narcissa, there's something I have to tell you."

"Yes, what is it?" Narcissa asked apprehensively.

"You know that table in the fourth-floor hallway? We kind of... broke it. So thoroughly that it can't be repaired by magic."

"You WHAT?!" Narcissa screeched. "That table was an  _antique_! And it was my  _favorite_!"

"That sounds like our cue to leave," Bellatrix hissed in her husband's ear.

Rodolphus jumped, startled. He'd been so busy observing the Malfoys' argument that he hadn't noticed when she'd come up beside him. As they left, they could hear still faintly hear Narcissa shouting in the distance.

" _How many times have I told you, no playing Quidditch in the house?_ "

"Playing Quidditch, my ass. Narcissa is so naive," Bellatrix grumbled. "More like you were polishing each others' broomsticks." Rodolphus made a faint choking noise at this pronouncement but did not bother to deny it. "And Lucius is pretty dumb, too, if he thought that table could hold both of your weight."

~end~


End file.
